you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
