Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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