I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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