I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
