If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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