Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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