just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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