Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
