I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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