No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
