i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
