I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
