If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
