I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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