The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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