why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
