My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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