what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
