I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
