I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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