This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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