I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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