Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
