Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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