he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
