He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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