It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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