Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
