Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
