I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
