since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
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Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
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I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.