We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
