i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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