last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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