There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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