Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
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