So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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