Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
