Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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