we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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