two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
