it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
