I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have already put on my inside pants.
Randomize
