is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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