I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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