i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
