she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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