best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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