talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
