My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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