if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
