i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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