your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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