Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Randomize
