I bet he comes in French.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
