you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
